“ Try not to seem lame,” Julia admonishes the youngsters of America while she counts down five tips for dating in a tech-oriented world. It’s solid advice. On that note, things to watch for: Julia’s hostility and skepticism of men being projected on her young audience, Alexa Chung’s visible discomfort when talking about sex tapes with teenagers (“I’ve always…found myself…to be offended by those”), and Julia’s orbit orange mane, god bless it. It’s wavy!
while im partial to qualifying anyone and anything that came out of nnn as awesome, julia allison, star of TMI:KILL ME is my second exception to the rule (obama girl’s lesser known blonde bimbo backup being the first, with whom i suffered through my boss’s wretched idea of an interview smackdown at the florida republican debates last year). i HATE julia allison. how she gets to tell anyone what to do with any credence mystifies me and officially debunks the idea that anyone has any class ever at all. ”little girls, listen up, this is how to be a second class whore…”
‘teen magazine’s “how to catch a girl” is officially a billion times more relevant thanks to the very basic suggestion “be something.” be something. be anything. but whatever you are, don’t be julia allison. or jon of previously 8.
I really, really love Reblogging NonSociety. I completely (genuinely) admire their ability to still cheer JA on after they rip her entire life to shreds with detailed examples about everything she’s doing wrong. I think this is what makes a good writer.
I worked for Julia Allison, pictured above, last January. It was the least productive and most irritating internship I could have ever experienced, in all honesty. I left that month with a nasty taste in my mouth. When I become a sucessful writer and journalist, I don’t plan on acting the way she does.
However, I did have a dream last night about Julia Allison coming to visit me. And in order to get back at her for being so ridiculous in January, I took her to this restaurant called Cheeseburger Bobby’s and their was a volcano that spit out lava every thirty minutes. She ate many cheeseburgers, and she asked my mom if it was okay to order “The Seinfeld,” which apparently was her code for beer because she didn’t want her lifecast followers to know she drinks. She drank so many of them and cried to my mom about her life.
Dad & I just drove home from city to ‘burbs. We discussed God - namely: does everyone have a purpose in this world? I say yes, he says no.about 9 hours ago from web - Julia Allison’s Twitter
Of course she believes in God. How else would she believe that she’s the second coming of Christ?
She fails to mention that her “God” is tiny pastry. Because she obviously prays to cupcakes.
Aashay: @juliaallison that doesn’t make much sense. People who are really good at what they do (non-mediocre) tend to become popular naturally. funguyom: @juliaallison Disagree. But there are plenty of people who are 1st rate who aren’t narcicistic attention-whores. funguyom: @juliaallison The problem with “image” is maintance. It isn’t getting discovered: that’s easy. Staying popular & brilliant; true challange! suprlatina: @juliaallison I don’t get it….
So I was riding up in the elevator of my parents’ place [Editors Note: WE GET IT YOUR PARENTS OWN A CONDO!!!!] when - for the THIRD TIME since I arrived here on Saturday - the other occupant engaged me in friendly conversation.
That is roughly the same number of times I’ve been engaged in elevator chat in the entire FIVE YEARS I’ve lived in New York.
Stereotype or not, it certainly seems to be anecdotally true, at least in my case: Midwesterners are just more friendly.
Do you find this to be accurate? And … um … WHY???
Politeness is not a New Yorker vs. Midwesterner thing. It’s generally a trait that most people possess when they have the ability to look beyond themselves.
P.S. You’re starting to sound a bit like Andy Rooney.
I’ll preface this by saying that I am actually a fan of Julia Allison — not so much of Julia Allison as who she is, but of who she could be. She could have had so much success, but instead she’s become the postermuppet of squandered opportunity.
I’ll also say, I should have not provoked the gaping maw by writing her, but, eh, I had a bottle of wine and I’m bored, so let’s review the crazy, shall we?
From: Julia Allison’s Bad Press <juliaallisonsbadpress@gmail.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 7:56 PM Subject: So the consensus is… To: julia@nonsociety.com
that you might be racist. Particularly after your post about buying corn from black people.
Of all the opinions people have about you, “Julia The Racist” might be the most damaging.
I’d love for a comment so you can defend yourself.
From: Julia Allison <julia@nonsociety.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:16 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: juliasbadpress@gmail.com
Huh? I bought corn on the cob at the taste. How is that racist? It’s just a description of what I did.
Sent from my iPhone
Leave it to Julia Allison to answer a question by not answering a question at all. Well Jules (can I call you Jules?) here’s a description of what you did. You posted this picture:
With this description: “I got corn on the cob and then fled.” EDITORS NOTE: Julia did update this post after her manic exchange with me.
Innocuous enough, yes, but you are a writer, or at least you claimtobe. And some writers might agree that this might have not been the best choice of words to accompany a picture of three black vendors making your corn. The way the post was presented, you seem to imply that you were running away from THE BLACK PEOPLE (So! Scared!)
Of course this isn’t the first time you’ve denigrated less well-to-do minorities. There was also this gem where you endlessly bitched about someone who was talking on the phone. We’ll admit, loud talkers are annoying, but sweetheart, you yourself are a loud talker, and we are sure there have been plenty of people who wish you would shut the hell up. And many commenters and writers pointed out that your problem with her was not her “rudeness” but instead the color of her skin.
“Okay, I am not going to call Poofy a racist. Except, YES, I am going to call Poofy a racist. She is totes mean to this girl, who happen to be a different color than her.” — Russian Girl
“Interesting, however, that Miss Millie posts snap after snap of the whitest folks around and a minority only gets the same consideration–is that the term I want?–when our lady is miffed.” — Jack the Bulldog
That second comment does bring up a good point, Jules. Where ARE your minority friends (Meghan doesn’t count because she comes from money)? We rarely ever see pictures on your blog with people who aren’t from WASPington Farms.
We will say it right now that we actually don’t think you are a racist. We do however think you form your opinions of people based on class, and like it or not, class is inextricable (hey, a new “i” word!) ties to race in this country, and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture for you.
Anywho! We were gonna respond to you, but you got to us first!
From: Julia Allison <julia@nonsociety.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:16 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: juliasbadpress@gmail.com
ps. why are you spending the sunday of your holiday weekend thinking about me?
1: a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not ; especially: the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion2: an act or instance of hypocrisy
You have a business built on people thinking about you. And by now you shouldn’t be all surprised that people read your blog. So you can’t bitch when people read your blog and form a negative opinion. Most people are basing those opinons on what you put out there. If you truly have a problem with that, there is a wonderful world off the internet that you can enjoy. But you and I both know that if people stopped paying attention to you, you would whither into a ball of Play Doh and restylane and die. And Doctor Bobby would be sad.
But to get more specific: Why I was spending my holiday weekend thinking about you? Wine. Just wine. Plus it was laundry night so I had to take a break from being fabulous.
Anyway, I finally did get around to responding.
From: Julia Allison’s Bad Press <juliasbadpress@gmail.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:24 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: julia@nonsociety.com
You posted with a picture of black people with the comment that you “fled.”
Coupled with this remark from a Gawker employee, it is not looking good:
“Apparently Nick Denton stopped his “I love you, I hate you” act with Julia when she made an offensive remark to his live-in boyfriend, who is black (and an artist who doesn’t care much for Julia). Definitely something about race and/or homosexuality. Apparently that was the straw the broke the camel’s back and so he let Owen Wilson slaughter her on Valleywag and then suggested that they lighten up on Julia coverage because he knew that was what would really hurt her. Also, Ryan Tate loathes Julia even more than Owen and she sends him ass-kissy emails constantly.”
Whether or not little remark is true is kind of unimportant. What matters is that people are forming this opinion about you, which is not good PR. Do you really want to become this guy? or this guy?
Really, implying that you are racist is really one of the meanest and most damaging things people have said about you, so we were just trying to be kind by making you aware of the situation so you could maybe do a little damage control.
Instead…
From: Julia Allison <julia@nonsociety.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:27 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: juliasbadpress@gmail.com
dude, I fled because the Taste is a gross mass of people and they were crushing me.
It has nothing to do with race.
And I’m definitely going to forward this email to both Nick and Ryan. I find it hilarious. True racists clearly go out with black congressman, don’t they?
Please, please find a better hobby than me. I don’t know who you are, but I promise, this isn’t worth your time.
First, by the way your post was originally written (Sidebar: Are you capable of writing posts that are more than ten words anymore?), it did not imply that you had a problem with crowds. Secondly, it’s great that you dated a black congressman, but let’s face it:
Homeboy’s skin town is only a shade or two darker than yours. More importantly, you don’t date color, you date status, money and power. You live a very insular life and only associate with people who can give you a leg up. In fact, I’ve said that before! But I’ll drop the race issue, since I don’t believe you are a racist. You just look down on people who you perceive to be of a lower class, and you treat them like shit.
Instead we’ll focus on the crazy. If Gawker ruined your life, why would you send this little exchange to Ryan Tate and Nick Denton? Of course! Hopefully they’ll write about you, seeing that you have been scant posts about you on Gawker as of late.
And the emails kept on coming. I barely had time to respond!
From: Julia Allison’s Bad Press <juliasbadpress@gmail.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:32 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: julia@nonsociety.com
Because I am a reader of you blog who is fascinated by people’s perceptions of you. I am also working on a piece about the downside of internet fame. And since you are putting it all out there, I am interested on your thoughts on why people make certain conclusions about you.
Of course this was my response to her musings on how I’m spending my Sunday, but as you can see, I can barely keep up!
And this was my response to her saying that she was gonna tell on my to Gawker.
From: Julia Allison’s Bad Press <juliasbadpress@gmail.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:43 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: julia@nonsociety.com
Well so long as you get publicity out of it. I wish you well.
God bless.
I thought that would be the end of it. I didn’t realize that Julia Allison was now out to haunt my dreams.
From: Julia Allison <julia@nonsociety.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:27 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: juliasbadpress@gmail.com
Well, I’ll just say, point blank, that I’m 100% sure I never said anything racially or sexually offensive to Denton’s boyfriend. I don’t honestly recall seeing him in the past year. As for Tate, I’m fairly sure he likes me, but I also don’t really care if he doesn’t. You have to understand - Gawker is NOT GOOD FOR ME. There is nothing they can bring to me but negativity, and frankly, I’m not interested in negativity in my life.
And if you find out why people jump to conclusions that are - literally - insane, feel free to enlighten me.
This is what Randi sent me recently in response to a hate letter calling me pretty much every negative epithet you can think of -
“In fact, Brent recently read this AMAZING case study that you should read called the Howard Roizen/Heidi Roizen case. Students at Harvard, Stanford, etc. were divided into two groups. Half the students saw the “Howard Roizen case” and half saw the “Heidi Roizen case.” What they didn’t know was that the two cases were EXACTLY the same…with only the names changed. Both cases depicted someone who had used their networking skills to become extremely successful in business. The scary thing is that across the board, the students (both men/women) said that Howard Roizen got where he is because he is likeable, intelligent, and deserving…but with Heidi, they said she got where she was because she was mean, aggressive, and bitchy. “
What I don’t understand is why people care at all. What have I done to them that SO upsets them that they have to spend time thinking about it, musing over it, gossiping about it? I don’t care about anyone I don’t like! When I don’t like people, I just ignore them. Makes life a whole lot more pleasant.
Oh holy hell, Baugher! You respond to accusations of perceived racism by calling me sexist.
YOU WIN!
I should also note that so far in this private exchange that she has mentioned people of notoriety: Congressman Harold Ford, Jr., Nick Denton, Ryan Tate, and Randi Zuckerburg of the Facebook Zuckerburg’s.
Bear in mind, at this point I stopped responding. They wine was running low and I stopped caring. But miss “I don’t care about anyone I don’t like!” apparently didn’t.
From: Julia Allison <julia@nonsociety.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:47 PM Subject: Re: So the consensus is… To: juliasbadpress@gmail.com
I don’t think you understand. I’m not out to “get publicity.” If I were, I would actually TRY to get publicity (or release a sex tape!). As of right now, I post boring photos on occasion to my blog. Millions of people do the same thing. It’s not really anything special, nor am I trying to make it special.
I just do my thing - and I’m pretty happy with that right now.
The question is: why is it that a very small group of people are upset by that?
So you are not out to “get publicity,” you say? THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE MULTIPLE GOD DAMN AGENTS!?!?!? And why do you leak stories about yourself to the New York Post! And why do you IM with Gawker writers when you say Gawker is not good for you?!?!?! And if you really aren’t seeking fame then how do you explain this?
And if you are not trying to make anything special? What is the point of seeking out sponsorships for your vanity blog? Seriously, women, no one is buying your modesty.
Julia, who ignores the critics, felt the need to further defend herself. Even though I had long since dropped it and opened another bottle of wine.
From: Julia Allison <julia@nonsociety.com> Date: Sun, July 5, 2009 at 8:48 PM Subject: Fwd: Is this true? To: juliasbadpress@gmail.com
How awesome would that be if I followed Owen WILSON as Valleywag? Actually, kind of terrible, at least on the day they ran our pictures side by side. But I’ll put my emotional IQ up against his any day.
Clearly this fellow is plugged in to the “inside” dirt; weren’t you just wondering why I’d gone so _easy_ on you?? (/sarcasm)
The only email of yours I’ve told anyone about is the one with the Subject “You Fucking Idiot” because that’s a nice Subject line. But I better go look for these supposed ass-kissy emails, funny I never remember getting them. And it sounds like something I’d get a kick out of.
On Sun, Jul 5, 2009 at 6:30 PM, Julia Allison<julia@nonsociety.com> wrote: ass-kissy emails, eh?
Lesson of the evening? Never open a bottle of wine and get on the internet.
Current’s Infomania is the best show you’ve never heard of (Sarah Haskins’ aforepraised “Target Women” clips are a regular segment) - and if you have 22 minutes this lovely holiday weekend - I know you do - sit here and watch it.
If you only have thirty seconds? Skip to 13:00. Please swallow whatever beverage you’re imbibing first.
Related: this might be a compelling argument for sterilization.
In Julia Allison-speak: “PLEASE HIRE ME, OH GOD!!!!!! I NEED SOME SEMBLANCE OF RELEVANCE!!!!!!!!!”
On a side note: Fireworks being shot out of your ass is not funny. It’s unsafe. Julia Allison obviously wants children to go out and KILL THEMSELVES.
“Apparently Nick Denton stopped his “I love you, I hate you” act with Julia when she made an offensive remark to his live-in boyfriend, who is black (and an artist who doesn’t care much for Julia). Definitely something about race and/or homosexuality. Apparently that was the straw the broke the camel’s back and so he let Owen Wilson slaughter her on Valleywag and then suggested that they lighten up on Julia coverage because he knew that was what would really hurt her. Also, Ryan Tate loathes Julia even more than Owen and she sends him ass-kissy emails constantly.”
UPDATE: From “It Came Out of a Bottle”
“Guess that I need to sound like a broken record here as well. No matter how many times Jackles goes to lunch with a certain black sportscaster old enough to be her daddy or bangs some light-skinned politico, our pelted lady prefers minorities who sit at the back of the bus. I’ve sat in a classroom with Jules in which the two African-American women in the class loathed our lady after comments made about Hallie Berry. When Jules told the gay professor that she thought it best when gay men pranced about and fixed hair, he looked about ready to vomit. Actually, most everybody in the class looked as though they were going to hurl at one time or another on the asshole.”
